one I could have had....yet didn't

Victim 3-the weird email guy.

Now I did not meet this man but I could not go without telling it.  Again, internet dating.  Will I ever learn?  i can honestly say i have, 3 years later.  

I do get some interesting emails from the TLo seekers, however this man was 57 with 6 children and wanted more.  He was looking for an available uterus and it wasn’t going to be mine.  My friends begged me to meet him just to have a story. I refused.  He even wrote me a poem.  He called me M’Lady.  it was scary upon first reading it then creepy.  He wrote that he hoped our age difference wouldn’t keep us apart and that he’d wanted to hold me but if he couldn’t then he would dream of holding me.  I ingnored this email since I was weirded out.  I did see he kept looking at my profile.  I wrote a poem in response but I didn’t send it. I was only going to send it should he send me another email.  I wish I had saved it.  I’m going to look for a copy cause it’s good.  I called him M’Lord, M’Creepy, and several other names.  I’ve got to find a copy!  

Thanks to Susan I have a copy of the poem he wrote me and the one I wrote in response.  I did not send my poem to him, though I think I should have.  Remember when reading I have NEVER spoken to this person.  This is his first, I repeat first contact with me.  

Of all the sunsets and sunrises... Of all the beautiful flowers that

grow on this Earth...

Of all the stars that glow in the heavens and the universe... you above

all are more beautiful in my eyes. No man has seen nor beheld such a

Princess or Goddess as I behold in you.

And I have now seen such beauty, warmth, and

grace... as I have seen the depths of your beautiful

eyes. But, alas my heart may never know the honor of

holding you, feeling the warmth of your kiss, or the

tenderness of your arms. Because of our age difference...

my heart will be filled with the honor of having to just

behold your warmth and beauty within my dreams...

But will be saddened to wake in the mornings to find

you not there... Only in my dreams will we love, laugh,

and go through the adventures of life... For you M'Lady... I wish you

all the happiness, love and joy

that life has to offer, and that all your hopes,

wishes and dreams will always come true for you...

I pray that you may honor me by us becoming

friends... and in time more...

but M'Lady, my Princess, I will honor your

desires... and will respect all your wishes... But

in my heart... you will forever be...

In all I have written M'Lady... I am very sincere...

and hope for that which may not be meant to

be...that we may find Camelot together... By Your Leave M'Lady... and

with the most honor and

respect I can give...

I remain., your Servant and Knight forever should

you ever have need of me...

mcgregor

--------------------------------------

My poem

Of all the Moon Beams and Solar Eclipses

Of all the stars & Planets in the sky

You above all are the weirdest.

I have never beheld such a creepiness as I have since receiving your

poem.

Your eyes, wanting to see if they are dilated, if only that hat

wasn*t there, M*Wrangler

Age is only a # to some but the fact remains I could have step children

only a couple

Of years younger and be a grandmother by the time I*m 35.

In your dreams is where I*ll have to stay M*Weirdness.

May your thoughts be of good cheer and know that some where out on the

M*Range

Where the deer and the antelope roam, is your M*Lady, Princess ,

Goddess.

For it is not I that wishes to procreate this planet with you

I will remain, far, far, far, away

M*Logan

Enjoy!  

part 2-another one bites the dust

Victim 2-food blower

Ya like how I come up with the names for them?

Ok, so I’ve tried on line dating several times.  I don’t normally put myself out there so I’ve come to realize I’ve got to step out of my box in order to meet anyone.  It doesn’t always go the way I want it to.  On this one occasion I had agreed to meet this guy for lunch.  I had a sinus infection but knew if I put it off I would back out.  So here I go.  I get to the restaurant and we meet.  He’s nice.  I’ll admit I did have a hard time hearing him with my ears stopped up.  Our meals arrive and as I’m getting ready to take my first bite I hear this loud blowing noise.  I look up to find him blowing his food like he’s a 4 year old.  Come on, there’s a way to let food cool off and blowing it off the fork is not it.  I could not believe with my stopped up ears I could hear him blowing his food.  I know I didn’t give him much of a chance but that was annoying and embarrassing.  If I could hear it, the entire restaurant definitaly  hear it.  We finished our meal and he asked if I wanted to go do anything else.  I couldn’t.  Seriously, first impressions do matter.  I know  he had probably made some woman a great husband but my 4 year old nephew doesn’t even do that.

Ok so I read this again and I do realize I'm the nutcase.

TLo

Stay tuned for another one....

Another one Bites the dust

Another One Bites the dust

Another One Bites the Dust

Tales from a Single Girl

Perfect to descriptions of my dating life.  What there is of it anyway.  Sad to be 33 and not have a clue as to how to find Mr. Right.  I’ve had Mr. Right Now and it was fun for a while but then it gets old, sometimes quicker than others.  The stories I have....the laughs, tears and picking of toe nails.  I couldn’t make this stuff up.  I’m not that creative.

Let’s  take a look back.....

Some dates I’ve completely blocked from my mind for sanity purposes.  I should note that names have been changed.  Sorry ladies I can’t warn you ahead to time not to date these unique individuals.  This may also be to graphic for the faint of heart.  Ok, that is stretching it but seriously I’ve gone out with some gross ones.  These are in not particular order just random stories.  I do realize the common factor is me in all of these stories and I have taken this fact into consideration, yet I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not me....

Victim  1 also known as Toe Nail.

I’m starting off with a good one.  Now let me say, I’m the one that ended it, therefore it was a dusting I chose but it’s too good to not share.

I took my mom’s advise and emailed a guy that a placed a Valentine on the local radio station.  She had heard him and thought I should email him.  I figured why not??  So I emailed him and we emailed each other, exchanged photos.  The picture he sent should have been my first clue.  It was from his 30th Birthday party and he had an Elvis cake.  Now, I’m not bad mouthing the King of Rock n’ Roll but he’s 30! How long has Elvis been gone.  It’s not like he was even alive when Elvis was big.  Again, nothing against Elvis.  I promise.  Did that stop me, NO.  I gave him my phone # and we talked.  The conversation dragged but I just kept talking trying to fill in any and all dead air.  Our first date was dinner, which was fine.  Nothing to brag about but I thought it was me so I’d give it another shot.  Date # 2:  He didn’t even ask me he sent me a text message and it was a double date.  Yes, you read correct, 2nd date was a double date.  So he picks me up and there in the back seat of the car is another couple.  I wondered if they both rode in the back seat the whole way there??  I still don’t know the answer....I’m good though... So we go to dinner and the guy starts quizzing me on how we met.  I was 10 shades of red.  I didn’t like being put on the spot.  I didn’t know this guy nor his wife and he’s giving me the 3rd degree.  We then went and played Putt-Putt.  I don’t know for sure but I think I won.  Since I’m telling the story, I won.  Nothing exciting about this date either.  I was going on vacation soon after and I didn’t even want to call him while I was gone.  I was so over it.  When I got back he wanted to cook me dinner.  You should know that his “job” was to stay in a home for mentally challenged adults at night, so he had moved in. Personally, I didn't like his view of his charges.  He referred to them as "those people".  Yes, I went to dinner.  As I’m sitting at the table one of the men that live there came in and asked was I staying the night?  Huh?  At first I thought they were going to be joining us for dinner but they are on a special diet so they had already eaten.  Diner wasn’t that memorable.  I don’t even remember what he cooked.  After dinner we went and sat in a small living room to look at my vacation pictures.  As we are looking at pictures I kept hearing this noise and to my dismay and disgust he discards a TOE NAIL on the coffee table.  I was shocked, stunned, grossed out, and most important speechless.  I recovered to tell him that I could have gone the entire night without seeing that.  his response  “it’s just a toe nail”  my response  “exactly”.  I excused myself to the bathroom and pulled it together.  When I came out I told him I need to go.  It’s a good thing he didn’t try to kiss me cause i would have had to shut him down.  he had his own door outside in his room and when I saw his room it only confirmed the decision I had already made before the toe nail hit the table.  How old would you think someone is when you see a jungle themed bed spread stuff monkey included and superman crap everywhere else?  I’d say the oldest would be 10, not 30.

This was the date that shocked and brought great laughter to my friends.  It has even been shared by others to make their dates not sound so bad.  Needless to say since he could ask me out via text message I ended it via text message.  For the longest time I was still on his email list.  Ugh!  I was able to get out of that eventually...

I can't unleash them all at once.  I don't want my tragedies to cause an injury from laughter..

Enjoy!

TLo

weird posts on Craigslist

I love a good story any day of the week, but if you've ever read Craigslist then you know there are some freaks out there.  When I need a good laugh or pick me up I know I can find it there.  Tonight I was taken back by the request of a single man wanting to marry a pregnant lady.  Race is not an issue for him.  He wants to be the baby daddy. I am troubled by this for several reasons.

1. will just any pregnant lady do.  What if you don't get along.  Do you just marry anyone who is pregnant.  

2. Posting an add on Craigslist for a wife.  Come on, why can't you go out into society and find someone.  According to Steve Harvey's book Act like a lady, think like a man there is freak out there for everyone.

3.  What do you tell the child when they are older.  They will figure it out.  Do you tell them "daddy" posted an add on a free site for a wife and mommy replied and well since she met all the requirements-pregnant she went for it.

4. What happens after the baby arrives?  

I am just confused.  I think I might have to reply to see if I can get the answers to my questions.

It's been a while...

A lot has happened since my last post. I've changed employers still doing the same work just a much better environment. Whew!! What a relief!!
I lost my grandmother Dec. 14, 2008. She lived a long and loving life. No better example of how to live than her. I hate that I will not have any future stories to tell.
Starting "seeing" someone. I say "seeing" because he only took me out once in the almost 3 months we saw each other. Let's just say that is no longer...
I'll get to that later...

Worst blogger EVER

I looked at the last date i had blogged and was embarrassed. My people need me....except no one reads this but me....oh well, I guess it's ok that I've missed almost a month. Less for me to reread.
Vacation was a blast! After the year I've had. I really needed! My oldest nephew is so funny! At 3 he has such a personality. I have taught him that his middle name is impatient. He tells everyone that's his name. I made a promise I would teach him his real name before he starts school. His brother Natertot. That's what I call him. He's just a round little boy. The happiest baby you'd ever meet. You know something is wrong if he's crying. He was sick so he didn't feel his normal happy self. We've decided to make this a yearly trip. If you only knew the dynamics that made up this family you would be surprised. Maybe someday I'll go into all of that.
My tan is fading and I must get back to work. I won't take so long to blog next time.
Until then...