Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Breathe Right strip, why do you torment me?

In order to help with my snoring, thank you Deviated Septum.  I have been wearing a breathe right strip at night.  This has not worked out as well as I have wanted.  In my sleep I take them off.  I would not recommend the clear strips as they are hard to find.  Here's a list of where I have found them the next day.

1. my hair
2. stuck to the side of my face
3. stuck to my arm
4. on the outside of my purse (I keep my pocketbook by my bed like any good old lady)
5. stuck to my pillow case (hard to find)
6. inside my purse
7. stuck to the sheet

I'm sure I'll have more to add and there are still a few I haven't found.  I know a couple had to have gotten washed which means they are permanently stuck to the sheets.  Oh, well I guess I need to get my DS fixed but then what would I write about??

Sunday, May 17, 2009

victim #4- relationship gone sour

Victim 4- relationship gone sour

I did meet someone on line and we dated for 6 months.  I, wanting a relationship, let it go that long when in fact it should have ended after about 3 months.  Everything seemed fine until my dad passed away.  My dad walked into the emergency room one day and passed away the next.  Very sudden.  Very heartbreaking.  When i called to tell him my dad was in the hospital and it didn’t look good he decided to stay home and would come see me the next day.  My mom and I stayed the night at the hospital and the next morning he came and took me home to take a shower.  He was in the hospital all of 20 minutes.  When we got back to the hospital he dropped me off in the parking lot, told me he loved me but that hospitals freaked him out and he didn’t want to come in.  Like anyone enjoys them under the circumstances...  I didn’t care at that point.  If I couldn’t be a priority then I didn’t want him there.  Needless to say the next time I saw him was after my dad had passed.   He couldn’t even be there for me when I needed him.  I will give him credit he did have my cousin and her husband go with him to get clothes for the funeral and he stayed with me the whole time during the viewing.  However, I had to nudge him right before the service started as he was dozing off.  After my father passed away he started distancing himself.  Which hurt since you should want to take care of the one you love.  Instead he started calling at the last minute and backing out on  plans or just not show up.  No phone call, nothing...  I took this for another 3 months, I know, what kind of fool was I.  I realized this was not the life I wanted.  He would rather go home and sit on his couch than see me cause his house was closer.  He didn’t invite me to come over, just cancel.  He truly broke my heart.  I thought he was the one and sadly tried to make it real.  After not seeing each other for 2 weeks he was to come over and hang out.  We had talked during the day and all was good then on my way home he calls to say he’s going to bail on me and go home.  I asked why?  “My house is closer”.  Ouch!  To say i was upset is putting it mildly.  You say you love me yet you don’t want to be with me.  It was so embarrassing to have friends over and they ask where he was and all I could say was “I don’t know”.  I had had enough.  I was becoming the only person in the relationship and that’s not right.  So after some arguing and crying I decided to look on line where we met.  Low and behold guess who I find has put their profile back on there.  I called him and told him his things would be outside if he wanted them.  He acted all shocked, he couldn’t believe I was ending it.  he didn’t come and get his things so in the garbage they went.  A month later I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself and emailed him.  We corresponded for a while in email then he called one day and asked if I wanted to get together.  I’m thinking to talk about things.  No, he thought we would just jump back into a relationship.  Hello!!  He said he had been trying to get them to remove his profile on line for a couple of days when i found it.  First, you have to put yourself on there.  Second, you have to remove yourself.  The on line service does not just slap your profile up again.  I told him this.  I also said I wanted to talk before we just went out.  He didn’t know what we had to talk about.  I let loose all the frustration I had been feeling for so long.  We haven’t spoken since.  Lesson learned.  Before you start a relationship you end the one you’re in.  I asked him several times if he was sure he wanted to be with me. He said yes, but his actions said differently.  I guess because I didn’t need him to pay my bills or work on my car he didn’t feel needed enough.  I don’t need a man, I want a good man.  So ladies, don’t put up with shit unless you are prepared to endure it for life.  I’m still waiting on my happy ending, which I would rather do than be in a miserable relationship not knowing if he’s going to show up or not.  SAY NO TO DRAMA!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

one I could have had....yet didn't

Victim 3-the weird email guy.

Now I did not meet this man but I could not go without telling it.  Again, internet dating.  Will I ever learn?  i can honestly say i have, 3 years later.  

I do get some interesting emails from the TLo seekers, however this man was 57 with 6 children and wanted more.  He was looking for an available uterus and it wasn’t going to be mine.  My friends begged me to meet him just to have a story. I refused.  He even wrote me a poem.  He called me M’Lady.  it was scary upon first reading it then creepy.  He wrote that he hoped our age difference wouldn’t keep us apart and that he’d wanted to hold me but if he couldn’t then he would dream of holding me.  I ingnored this email since I was weirded out.  I did see he kept looking at my profile.  I wrote a poem in response but I didn’t send it. I was only going to send it should he send me another email.  I wish I had saved it.  I’m going to look for a copy cause it’s good.  I called him M’Lord, M’Creepy, and several other names.  I’ve got to find a copy!  

Thanks to Susan I have a copy of the poem he wrote me and the one I wrote in response.  I did not send my poem to him, though I think I should have.  Remember when reading I have NEVER spoken to this person.  This is his first, I repeat first contact with me.  

Of all the sunsets and sunrises... Of all the beautiful flowers that
grow on this Earth...
Of all the stars that glow in the heavens and the universe... you above
all are more beautiful in my eyes. No man has seen nor beheld such a
Princess or Goddess as I behold in you.
And I have now seen such beauty, warmth, and
grace... as I have seen the depths of your beautiful
eyes. But, alas my heart may never know the honor of
holding you, feeling the warmth of your kiss, or the
tenderness of your arms. Because of our age difference...
my heart will be filled with the honor of having to just
behold your warmth and beauty within my dreams...
But will be saddened to wake in the mornings to find
you not there... Only in my dreams will we love, laugh,
and go through the adventures of life... For you M'Lady... I wish you
all the happiness, love and joy
that life has to offer, and that all your hopes,
wishes and dreams will always come true for you...
I pray that you may honor me by us becoming
friends... and in time more...
but M'Lady, my Princess, I will honor your
desires... and will respect all your wishes... But
in my heart... you will forever be...
In all I have written M'Lady... I am very sincere...
and hope for that which may not be meant to
be...that we may find Camelot together... By Your Leave M'Lady... and
with the most honor and
respect I can give...
I remain., your Servant and Knight forever should
you ever have need of me...
My poem
Of all the Moon Beams and Solar Eclipses

Of all the stars & Planets in the sky

You above all are the weirdest.

I have never beheld such a creepiness as I have since receiving your

Your eyes, wanting to see if they are dilated, if only that hat
wasn*t there, M*Wrangler

Age is only a # to some but the fact remains I could have step children
only a couple

Of years younger and be a grandmother by the time I*m 35.

In your dreams is where I*ll have to stay M*Weirdness.

May your thoughts be of good cheer and know that some where out on the

Where the deer and the antelope roam, is your M*Lady, Princess ,

For it is not I that wishes to procreate this planet with you

I will remain, far, far, far, away



Saturday, May 9, 2009

part 2-another one bites the dust

Victim 2-food blower

Ya like how I come up with the names for them?

Ok, so I’ve tried on line dating several times.  I don’t normally put myself out there so I’ve come to realize I’ve got to step out of my box in order to meet anyone.  It doesn’t always go the way I want it to.  On this one occasion I had agreed to meet this guy for lunch.  I had a sinus infection but knew if I put it off I would back out.  So here I go.  I get to the restaurant and we meet.  He’s nice.  I’ll admit I did have a hard time hearing him with my ears stopped up.  Our meals arrive and as I’m getting ready to take my first bite I hear this loud blowing noise.  I look up to find him blowing his food like he’s a 4 year old.  Come on, there’s a way to let food cool off and blowing it off the fork is not it.  I could not believe with my stopped up ears I could hear him blowing his food.  I know I didn’t give him much of a chance but that was annoying and embarrassing.  If I could hear it, the entire restaurant definitaly  hear it.  We finished our meal and he asked if I wanted to go do anything else.  I couldn’t.  Seriously, first impressions do matter.  I know  he had probably made some woman a great husband but my 4 year old nephew doesn’t even do that.

Ok so I read this again and I do realize I'm the nutcase.


Stay tuned for another one....

Another one Bites the dust

Friday, May 8, 2009

Another One Bites the dust

Another One Bites the Dust

Tales from a Single Girl

Perfect to descriptions of my dating life.  What there is of it anyway.  Sad to be 33 and not have a clue as to how to find Mr. Right.  I’ve had Mr. Right Now and it was fun for a while but then it gets old, sometimes quicker than others.  The stories I have....the laughs, tears and picking of toe nails.  I couldn’t make this stuff up.  I’m not that creative.

Let’s  take a look back.....

Some dates I’ve completely blocked from my mind for sanity purposes.  I should note that names have been changed.  Sorry ladies I can’t warn you ahead to time not to date these unique individuals.  This may also be to graphic for the faint of heart.  Ok, that is stretching it but seriously I’ve gone out with some gross ones.  These are in not particular order just random stories.  I do realize the common factor is me in all of these stories and I have taken this fact into consideration, yet I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not me....

Victim  1 also known as Toe Nail.

I’m starting off with a good one.  Now let me say, I’m the one that ended it, therefore it was a dusting I chose but it’s too good to not share.

I took my mom’s advise and emailed a guy that a placed a Valentine on the local radio station.  She had heard him and thought I should email him.  I figured why not??  So I emailed him and we emailed each other, exchanged photos.  The picture he sent should have been my first clue.  It was from his 30th Birthday party and he had an Elvis cake.  Now, I’m not bad mouthing the King of Rock n’ Roll but he’s 30! How long has Elvis been gone.  It’s not like he was even alive when Elvis was big.  Again, nothing against Elvis.  I promise.  Did that stop me, NO.  I gave him my phone # and we talked.  The conversation dragged but I just kept talking trying to fill in any and all dead air.  Our first date was dinner, which was fine.  Nothing to brag about but I thought it was me so I’d give it another shot.  Date # 2:  He didn’t even ask me he sent me a text message and it was a double date.  Yes, you read correct, 2nd date was a double date.  So he picks me up and there in the back seat of the car is another couple.  I wondered if they both rode in the back seat the whole way there??  I still don’t know the answer....I’m good though... So we go to dinner and the guy starts quizzing me on how we met.  I was 10 shades of red.  I didn’t like being put on the spot.  I didn’t know this guy nor his wife and he’s giving me the 3rd degree.  We then went and played Putt-Putt.  I don’t know for sure but I think I won.  Since I’m telling the story, I won.  Nothing exciting about this date either.  I was going on vacation soon after and I didn’t even want to call him while I was gone.  I was so over it.  When I got back he wanted to cook me dinner.  You should know that his “job” was to stay in a home for mentally challenged adults at night, so he had moved in. Personally, I didn't like his view of his charges.  He referred to them as "those people".  Yes, I went to dinner.  As I’m sitting at the table one of the men that live there came in and asked was I staying the night?  Huh?  At first I thought they were going to be joining us for dinner but they are on a special diet so they had already eaten.  Diner wasn’t that memorable.  I don’t even remember what he cooked.  After dinner we went and sat in a small living room to look at my vacation pictures.  As we are looking at pictures I kept hearing this noise and to my dismay and disgust he discards a TOE NAIL on the coffee table.  I was shocked, stunned, grossed out, and most important speechless.  I recovered to tell him that I could have gone the entire night without seeing that.  his response  “it’s just a toe nail”  my response  “exactly”.  I excused myself to the bathroom and pulled it together.  When I came out I told him I need to go.  It’s a good thing he didn’t try to kiss me cause i would have had to shut him down.  he had his own door outside in his room and when I saw his room it only confirmed the decision I had already made before the toe nail hit the table.  How old would you think someone is when you see a jungle themed bed spread stuff monkey included and superman crap everywhere else?  I’d say the oldest would be 10, not 30.

This was the date that shocked and brought great laughter to my friends.  It has even been shared by others to make their dates not sound so bad.  Needless to say since he could ask me out via text message I ended it via text message.  For the longest time I was still on his email list.  Ugh!  I was able to get out of that eventually...

I can't unleash them all at once.  I don't want my tragedies to cause an injury from laughter..



weird posts on Craigslist

I love a good story any day of the week, but if you've ever read Craigslist then you know there are some freaks out there.  When I need a good laugh or pick me up I know I can find it there.  Tonight I was taken back by the request of a single man wanting to marry a pregnant lady.  Race is not an issue for him.  He wants to be the baby daddy. I am troubled by this for several reasons.

1. will just any pregnant lady do.  What if you don't get along.  Do you just marry anyone who is pregnant.  
2. Posting an add on Craigslist for a wife.  Come on, why can't you go out into society and find someone.  According to Steve Harvey's book Act like a lady, think like a man there is freak out there for everyone.
3.  What do you tell the child when they are older.  They will figure it out.  Do you tell them "daddy" posted an add on a free site for a wife and mommy replied and well since she met all the requirements-pregnant she went for it.
4. What happens after the baby arrives?  

I am just confused.  I think I might have to reply to see if I can get the answers to my questions.