Sunday, May 17, 2009

victim #4- relationship gone sour

Victim 4- relationship gone sour

I did meet someone on line and we dated for 6 months.  I, wanting a relationship, let it go that long when in fact it should have ended after about 3 months.  Everything seemed fine until my dad passed away.  My dad walked into the emergency room one day and passed away the next.  Very sudden.  Very heartbreaking.  When i called to tell him my dad was in the hospital and it didn’t look good he decided to stay home and would come see me the next day.  My mom and I stayed the night at the hospital and the next morning he came and took me home to take a shower.  He was in the hospital all of 20 minutes.  When we got back to the hospital he dropped me off in the parking lot, told me he loved me but that hospitals freaked him out and he didn’t want to come in.  Like anyone enjoys them under the circumstances...  I didn’t care at that point.  If I couldn’t be a priority then I didn’t want him there.  Needless to say the next time I saw him was after my dad had passed.   He couldn’t even be there for me when I needed him.  I will give him credit he did have my cousin and her husband go with him to get clothes for the funeral and he stayed with me the whole time during the viewing.  However, I had to nudge him right before the service started as he was dozing off.  After my father passed away he started distancing himself.  Which hurt since you should want to take care of the one you love.  Instead he started calling at the last minute and backing out on  plans or just not show up.  No phone call, nothing...  I took this for another 3 months, I know, what kind of fool was I.  I realized this was not the life I wanted.  He would rather go home and sit on his couch than see me cause his house was closer.  He didn’t invite me to come over, just cancel.  He truly broke my heart.  I thought he was the one and sadly tried to make it real.  After not seeing each other for 2 weeks he was to come over and hang out.  We had talked during the day and all was good then on my way home he calls to say he’s going to bail on me and go home.  I asked why?  “My house is closer”.  Ouch!  To say i was upset is putting it mildly.  You say you love me yet you don’t want to be with me.  It was so embarrassing to have friends over and they ask where he was and all I could say was “I don’t know”.  I had had enough.  I was becoming the only person in the relationship and that’s not right.  So after some arguing and crying I decided to look on line where we met.  Low and behold guess who I find has put their profile back on there.  I called him and told him his things would be outside if he wanted them.  He acted all shocked, he couldn’t believe I was ending it.  he didn’t come and get his things so in the garbage they went.  A month later I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself and emailed him.  We corresponded for a while in email then he called one day and asked if I wanted to get together.  I’m thinking to talk about things.  No, he thought we would just jump back into a relationship.  Hello!!  He said he had been trying to get them to remove his profile on line for a couple of days when i found it.  First, you have to put yourself on there.  Second, you have to remove yourself.  The on line service does not just slap your profile up again.  I told him this.  I also said I wanted to talk before we just went out.  He didn’t know what we had to talk about.  I let loose all the frustration I had been feeling for so long.  We haven’t spoken since.  Lesson learned.  Before you start a relationship you end the one you’re in.  I asked him several times if he was sure he wanted to be with me. He said yes, but his actions said differently.  I guess because I didn’t need him to pay my bills or work on my car he didn’t feel needed enough.  I don’t need a man, I want a good man.  So ladies, don’t put up with shit unless you are prepared to endure it for life.  I’m still waiting on my happy ending, which I would rather do than be in a miserable relationship not knowing if he’s going to show up or not.  SAY NO TO DRAMA!

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